Overcoming

An athlete’s ability to remain composed in moments of tribulation is a challenge often unnoticed in discussions about the athlete experience. For a lot of athletes, stability is impossible without a support system. 

With every step of my athletic career, I’ve never doubted that my dad was walking alongside me. My dad was the one who paid for my gymnastics lessons while working two jobs to support my brothers and me. He drove hundreds of miles and booked flights across the country so I could compete at major track meets. He always sat front row at every basketball game and track meet in high school. When I had a tough day and felt like I wasn’t the athlete I once was, he was the first to share my struggle. 

In an article published by The Players Tribune called “Ten Pounds”, an English professional footballer reflects on losing her father and the role he played in her life. Ella Toone is a midfielder for Manchester United and the England Women’s Senior Team. The 25-year-old quickly made a name for herself due to her technical skills and scoring ability, leading the England squad to victory in the 2022 UEFA Women’s Euro Tournament. Toone took a two-month absence from football due to a calf injury she sustained in November. 

While Toone was recovering from injury, she shared how the time allowed her to reflect on the loss of her father in September. “For the past few months, I’ve been trying to figure it all out, trying to get unstuck. It’s still raw,” Toone shared. Losing a loved one can bring deep grief and sadness to anyone. For athletes, it can impact their focus, motivation, and overall performance. Sometimes the emotional weight of losing a key supporter becomes too much to bear and athletes lose a sense of identity or purpose. “Dad was always the one who kept me grounded, especially as the spotlight got bigger,” Toone said. 

As hard as it is to return to regular life after losing a loved one, sometimes remembering the memories is what makes it feel like they are still there. For Toone, recalling the times of hardship when her dad was her safety net has been the motivation to keep moving forward. “And as everything was getting bigger and bigger, the thing he would say to me sometimes that stuck was: “Just keep doing what you’re doing. And enjoy the journey of the game.” Toone said. 

Perspective is the most important lesson I’ve learned as an athlete. A positive perspective is what keeps the mind healthy and strong. When I came to college, I had to learn how to maintain my mental health without my dad’s support, which was incredibly difficult. My dad was always my first person to turn to on a bad day. The first couple weeks of practice were hard and a phone call is never the same as the drives we would take after a tough workout. On every drive, my dad would tell me, “Control your controllables.” I couldn’t always control the outcome but I could control my reaction to it. I see a connection between my relationship with my dad and Toone’s with hers, and I find her story an inspiration that it is always possible to move forward. 

I enter my first collegiate outdoor season of track in a month and my dad won’t be front row at every meet. I won’t be able to physically go on drives with him afterward, but I know he will be with me in his words. I’ll control what I can control and enjoy the journey. 

Like Ella Toone, athletes will endure, adapt, and overcome.